Father’s Day Gifts For Mental Health
Father’s day is around the corner, which means you are probably looking for the perfect father’s day gifts. As I have done on other special occasions, I will help you think about what you can do for your dad this father’s day with a unique emphasis on the mental health concerns many dads deal with how you can help.
This article contains affiliate links which are one small way I support this blog, should you make a purchase, I will receive a small commission.
The Understated Mental Health Issues For Men
Men are suffering quietly, we see this in the violence that is perpetrated by men and against men by other men. This violence that emerges out of pain, occurs inside intimate relationships, in families, against children along with individual victims. As they say, “hurt people, hurt people” and this could not be more true in the case of men and mental health concerns.
Men suffer from mental illness as frequently as women do, but are much less likely to seek help for those challenges, especially for those who are embedded in a culture of toxic masculinity.
Mental Health America reports that as many as 6 million men suffer from depression in a given year which is by far the most prevalent mental illness across the gender spectrum, with as many as 264 million worldwide. However, it is difficult to assess the true incidence in men, as it is underreported, but the numbers we do have indicate that 1 in 5 men suffer from depression and are much more likely to report it as stress, loss of interest, and irritability. We also know that the occurrence of substance abuse in men is much higher than for women and men are much more likely to die by suicide.
If you are unsure whether or not you or someone you love is suffering from a mental health issue, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, ADHD, or substance use issues, there is an online screener put out by Mental Health America which is free and confidential. When you click on the link above, you can take a test to determine if you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition.
Breaking Down the Stereotypes – How to Talk to Men About Mental Health
If you have a man in your life that you think is suffering from mental health issues, you can help by letting them know that it is ok and that help is available.
The first step is to make an observation, describe what you see, any changes in their behavior, it can be helpful to relate it back to your own experience which will help normalize their experience. Sometimes these conversations are best done with an activity that will help to ease the intensity of the conversation, like a “walk and talk”, which is something I like to do with many of the young people I work with. Not only is it healthy to get outside in the fresh air but it will help to ease the awkwardness of difficult conversations.
If you feel comfortable engaging further, acknowledge and support, relating their experience to not only your own experience but to that of others in the larger community (ie veterans). This will help to normalize their experience and also allow room for encouragement to see or talk to someone professionally, which after talking a little about, they might be more apt to consider. Ask a few times and follow up, it’s ok to check in a few days later and say “hey, you know I was thinking about our talk the other day…”
The other piece here is to let them know how you feel which I think, depending on the relationship, is very appropriate, especially if it’s your dad. Let them know that you worry about them, you care and that life could be better. When fighting a mental health condition, the old school, “tough it out” mentality may come up, reminding them that life can be different can be a very eye-opening statement.
And lastly, trust your instincts, again if this is someone close to you, you most likely know them well, and to what they will be most receptive. As I mentioned, sometimes it’s helpful to slowly “nudge”, have a small conversation and then let them think about it, bring it up a few days later, and then again… see where it goes. The simple act of talking about it sends a message that it’s ok to speak about it and helps to break down those hurtful stereotypes and expectations around masculinity.
11 Father’s Day Gifts for Dad With Mental Health In Mind
So we’ve clarified the problem, around mental health for men, now we can focus on the tools to fix it!
Below are 11 Father’s Day gifts for your dad, husband, or son for this father’s day.
#1 Online Course on Depression or Self-Esteem
If your dad or loved one is suffering from depression and could use some additional support, you might want to consider my online course called, “Overcome Depression Online Course”. This course has over 6 hours of audio recordings, accompanied by the slides and worksheets that I am speaking about and teaching from. Below is an excerpt from my online school about the course.
If not interested in the full course, I have put together a free mini-course on self-esteem which can also be found on my online school, more information can be found below.
#2 Affirmation Bracelet
An affirmation bracelet can be a super simple yet powerful reminder that they will be ok and I would say it is a piece of jewelry that has a very gender-neutral, even masculine look. It can be a simple copper band with a few words carved in it, or on a leather bracelet. There are all kinds that you can easily order at many Etsy shops or for something a little more upscale, James Avery has some beautiful pieces. If your dad is connected to a faith community, there are certainly many options available this way too, which can touch on their faith.
I had an affirmation bracelet at one point, I got it at a market while traveling, a random purchase, it was copper and had three words on it. I wore it daily and it was a little reminder to keep doing what I was doing and that slowly things will change and get better. Then one day, copper being copper, one could say… it just broke and I was super bummed because this cheap little bracelet had been a comfort for several years, despite my green wrist… and then a very wise colleague looked at me, shrugged, and said, “maybe you don’t need it anymore.”
#3 The Gift of Time With Your Father
Time in and of itself is a gift, the older I get the more I am aware of this. Maybe the gift for your dad is an outing with him, you could plan something that you both enjoy, whether it be a bike ride to get lunch, hitting some golf balls together or catching a movie. If your dad is someone who has a lot of home projects going on, maybe lending a helping hand would mean the world to them. Again, it can be simple and very budget-neutral 🙂
#4 Identify the Area of His Life That is a Struggle
Is there something that your dad has a hard time with? It could be a manual task like organizing the garage or it could help with technology. What are your dad’s challenges and what are your strengths? Maybe there is a match that could be made there?
#5 Flowers
Yes, men, many men like them too! And if your dad is one of those men who is secure in his masculinity that allows him to be ok with the gift of flowers then I say more power to him and you! I have been working with bloom, a company based in the UK who have thee most beautiful arrangements and are donating 10% of their proceeds on certain products to Mental Health UK. I love Bloom and if you or your dad love flowers then you will also fall in love with them! Not only will you have a gorgeous, sustainable gift for your dad but you will be supporting mental health services in the UK and probably beyond. It could also be thought of as another step towards breaking down that “toxic masculinity? Below are just two images that I thought would make excellent father’s day gifts, but there are tons more options.
#6 Self Care Day for Dad
What does your dad love to do when he has spare time? Is he someone that would enjoy a massage or would love to go to a baseball game? Self-care can come in all shapes and forms, the point of it being something that is relaxing, rejuvenating, and somewhat healthy. Some might say a decadent meal out is self-care, but probably not the healthiest option. However, for father’s day, we can ease up a little, right?
If you are going for this kind of self-care theme, then you have the possibility to really personalize the gift AND if this is for someone that you worry about, (ie mental health), make it a point to say what your intention is for this gift. Tell your dad, that you want them to engage in this activity as part of their self-care. Tix to a baseball game can be just that, but when gifted with some intentionality and meaning around the gift, it can change it entirely.
#7 A Wicked Good Cupcake?
Does your dad have a sweet tooth? Then something along the lines of Wicked Good Cupcakes might be a great option. They are a family-owned business and from our neck of the woods here in New England, they have had huge success and that can’t be for nothing! They also got started as a company that wanted their products to be shipped to anyone in the US, so very accessible!
#8 Beer Subscription
Ok, I suggested something gender atypical, and now I will go with the gender-typical suggestion. And I will also say that if there is a significant mental health issue at hand then alcohol is not a good choice, but there are many of us that enjoy a beer with friends or family on the weekends as a way to relax and unwind.
If your dad enjoys a good craft beer then this might be something to consider. One of my affiliates is the craft beer club, which has lots of gift subscription options. I have been on both ends of these subscriptions, and I have to say it is a nice gift that can be spread out over the course of several months or even a year. Additionally, your dad will get to discover some new beers that are often not so readily available in the local stores.
#9 Therapy
If you follow my blog and have read some of my other posts, then you might have seen this coming… yes, therapy! I don’t just say that because I am a mental health therapist, I truly believe in the possibility that lies with the time and dedication we can give to ourselves through a therapeutic intervention like therapy. And I will say, it doesn’t have to be the traditional talk therapy, it can be something like energy work, similar to reiki or acupuncture, it can be life coaching, depending on what it is that you or your dad has going on and what they need help with, there might be several different ways to get them through the door. If you ever wanted or needed to talk a little about what might be right for you or someone else, private message me and I would be happy to chat with you!
I will mention one of the organizations that I have been working with to help create more accessibility to therapy worldwide is Online-Therapy.com. I have included a short video below that can give you a little more information about who they are and how they can help. Also, you will get 20% off by using my affiliate link.
#10 Gym Membership
Many people are still hesitant to get inside a gym given the COVID pandemic, however as we return to more normalcy and there is increased safety in these public spaces, it might be something that your dad would be ready to jump back into, or maybe try if it hasn’t been his thing.
Gym memberships, as is the case with many services, can be specific to your dad’s needs. Maybe he enjoys tennis and you could get him some court time at a local club, there could be the question around membership, but if you give them a call, maybe they have some special deals or options for people who want to check it out. The YMCA is a really versatile gym and many have some nice pools, even outdoor for the summer months. Maybe your dad’s version of the gym is going to the driving range and hitting golf balls or playing on a pitch and put course. Maybe it is also access to adult soccer, rugby, or basketball league. Lots of options out there and remember… Google is your friend 🙂
#11 Help Dad Get Creative and Connect to His Artistic Side
Is your dad an artist or a musician? Or maybe he just has a deep appreciation for music and art. Connecting to the arts is therapeutic and known to have a host of beneficial and therapeutic outcomes. Just listening to music can increase social connectedness, enhance learning, and is a well-known form of treatment for mental health. As the research indicates that the hormones your brain can produce when listening to music have the possibility of changing the brain structure, hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin.
If your dad is a musician, then maybe this is a no-brainer. If your dad would just love to listen more, streaming services like Spotify or Pandora might be a nice option and if there are some tech limitations, then you could tie in gift option # 3 and help him set it up, teaching him how to use the different apps. Concerts are becoming more frequent now as well, maybe there is a favorite band out there that will be paying close to your home.
In Closing
Hopefully, there are a few ideas here for you to think about as you plan your father’s day gifts for your dad. However, Father’s Day is not about the gifts, it is about taking the time to appreciate and reflect on the person your father is and how they have helped you to become the person you are today. Whatever it is that you decide to do with or for your day will be enough.
Father’s day has actually been a nice excuse to address something that is much needed, more advocacy and public emphasis on mental health needs for men and how we can all support that effort. Father’s day is one occasion you can bring this to the forefront for your father, husband, partner, boyfriend, or son. Gratefully, we have more and more prominent spokespeople advocating for just this, Michael Phelps is one who comes to mind, but they are few and far between.
In a world of hypermasculinity where men need to showcase power and control in their environment, the message needs to be that it is ok to be human, which means that we have weaknesses and that is ok. Maybe one of the greatest gifts you can give to your dad is just that, permission to be human.
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References:
- Mental Health America: Free Online Mental Health Screener
- Mental Health America: Infographic: Mental Health for Men
- American Psychological Society: By the Numbers, Men, and Depression
- WHO: Depression, Key Facts
- The New York Times: What is Toxic Masculinity?
- Healthline: The Benefits of Listening to Music
