Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month
September’s suicide and prevention awareness month is an opportunity to gain understanding and insight around suicidal thoughts and parasuicidal behaviors. This article is for the family, friends, and colleagues of those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts and includes signs and symptoms along with what you need to know to support your loved one through a suicidal crisis.
Clearly, you are here because you have been touched by suicide or suicidality in one shape or form and looking to educate yourself, seek guidance, or just gain understanding, which is an important step as you work to understand suicidal thoughts and behaviors. One super important fact to remember is that suicide is preventable and help is out there. The text line below is for anyone who needs support, you can give it to your loved one or reach out to them yourself, there will be counselors who will be able to guide you as to the next steps that you need to take and help you identify whether or not the person needs immediate help. You don’t have to do it alone, resources are out there, use them.
Understanding Why Suidical Thoughts and Actions Occur
What ultimately leads a person to take their own life or attempt to take their life is often a mixed bag with depression at the helm. Substance use, relationship issues, financial stressors, and other socio-economic barriers along with medical and mental health comorbidities will all increase risk.
It could be hard to imagine why someone might take such extreme measures as to end their life, and it is extreme, which is something to pay attention to. The attempt to take one’s own life goes against every human instinct we have which is to survive, for a person to take such an extreme act, is an indicator as to how much pain and suffering they must be experiencing and the distorted thinking that is present when a person makes an attempt to take their life.
Distorted thinking also referred to as cognitive distortions is a negative thought pattern that is inaccurate and repetitive. It is also irrational and very often contributes to the genesis and perpetual behaviors present in depression and anxiety.
Many people believe that suicide is selfish and from the outside looking in, it might appear to be this way, however, for the person experiencing the suicidal crisis, it is quite often the opposite. The suicidal person often sees themselves as a burden to their loved ones and that everyone around them will be better off if they were not there, which is an example of distorted thinking. Additionally, as I mentioned above, the idea that a person would go against such deeply ingrained human instincts as to take their own life, indicates just how significantly distorted their thinking process is, that the answer, the only answer, is to end everything.
The Impact of Suicide and Suicidality On Families and Friends
Many friends and family members will witness the destructive patterns and emotional toll that suicide and depression will have on relationships and life around them. Many people, especially family and those close to the person will struggle to understand the “whys” behind the suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Often you will see a person with a bright future, a lot of potential, maybe financial security and that could evoke many difficult feelings for you, such as anger and frustration, feeling like they are looking for attention and so on. It can also be scary, alarming, create doubt and guilt as well as your own depression or other mental health crisis.
Know that whatever it is that you are feeling is ok and even normal, dealing with the suicidality or the suicide of someone close to you takes a tremendous toll and will probably push you to dig deep and work through these feelings in new and uncomfortable ways. Remember that feelings are feelings and they are never wrong, understanding suicidal thoughts and behaviors will help you put the many different feelings you may be having into perspective.
Being here and reading this now, says something about you wanting to educate yourself and understand more about the topic, which is something that will help your loved one and means that you are in the struggle with them.
The Global Issue
We also have to acknowledge just how pervasive the issue of suicide and suicidality is both nationally and globally. According to the World Health Organization, more than 700,000 people die annually from suicide each year and it is the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15-19 and in the United States, it is the second leading cause of death for people between the ages of 10-34. Veterans, people in the LGBTQ+ community, and people who live in rural areas have higher than average rates of suicide.
The bottom line is that suicide is a major global health concern which only seems to be getting worse, furthermore, these are just the reported numbers, there are many that go unreported.
What You Need to Know
11 Signs and Symptoms of a Suicidal Thought Pattern
The signs that someone is in a suicidal crisis can vary and are not always very obvious. Additionally, a lot of the stigmas around suicide and suicidal ideation can keep a person from being open about their feelings and intentions, which will keep them from displaying these signs more overtly. However, most people don’t want to die, they just want the pain and suffering to end, but sometimes don’t know how to talk about it or tell another person.
Below are some of the signs and changes to look for in your loved one if you are concerned about them being suicidal or if they have expressed suicidal thoughts.
- engaging in reckless and dangerous behavior
- increased substance use
- fixation on death and dying
- making known their wishes for after they are gone
- planning their suicide and gaining access to carry out the plan
- a dramatic shift in mood, going from severe depression to calm or expressing a sense of relief
- recent trauma or life crisis
- dramatic changes in eating, sleeping habits
- neglectful of hygiene
- expressing feelings of hopelessness, despair, or prolonged depression
- saying “goodbye” to family and loved ones, this would be beyond the usual “see you later” or “talk to you soon”.
What You Can Do – 7 Strategies
Truthfully, you have already taken the first step, which is building an understanding of how suicidal thoughts play out and that’s huge. This will, 9 times out of 10, be very apparent to your loved one and can be the one thing that will make a difference, simply being there and working to understand.
Below are a few other thoughts about how you can help. Remember that suicide is preventable and engaging with your loved one in whatever way possible, will be protective for them in their fight around suicidal thoughts and ideation.
- Be Direct – if someone is hinting at their thoughts and feelings around suicide, ask the question or find help
- Listen and take them at their word – if comments or thoughts are expressed you have to take them seriously and act accordingly, which might include you talking to them or getting someone who will be able to help, this might include professional help or a trusted adult.
- Encourage them to get professional help
- Encourage self-care and other support strategies that they may have
- Get help for yourself – you might have your own feelings to deal with, make sure you have the support you need whether that is to continue helping that person or because you are also struggling with some of your own mental health challenges
- Put your feelings aside – sometimes when we are very close to a person expressing suicidal thoughts, it can be hard not to take it personally or a whole range of feelings come up. Your feelings are valid but don’t confuse your feelings with what is going on for your loved one. When appropriate get your own help to support you in your own process around these feelings.
- Stay connected and be present – when your loved one knows that they have people around them who love them and care about them, this will make it harder for them to act out on their suicidal thoughts.
The Takeaways
Suicide is preventable and if a person is expressing their suicidal thoughts with you, that is a tremendous opportunity. Look for the signs and talk openly, it could quite literally save a life. Follow it up by getting help from someone you trust.
Also remember that suicide is about ending the pain, not leaving you… it is also an example of distorted thinking which when treated can be corrected.
It’s rare that a suicidal person will out of nowhere decide to take their life, along the way there will be signs and although it can be an impulsive reaction to a situation, that is not the norm when it comes to suicidal behavior. Most people want to live, want to thrive, and want the feelings to go away, you could be the link to help them turn their lives around and begin the path towards healing.
Please share…
I hope this article has increased your awareness and understanding of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. If so, please share it with anyone you think might benefit from these resources and tips. Please feel free to reach out to me in the comment section below or by email, if I can be of help. Suicide is not the only way to end pain and suffering, let’s help spread the word that there are other ways, and little by little we’ll turn lives right side up…
References:
The World Health Organization: Suicide Fact Sheet
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Suicide Fact Sheet
