Setting the Stage for Your Habits for Success
I hope you are able to enjoy this extra-long holiday weekend. Many of you may have already turned the page and have gotten started, building your habits for success and working towards your intentions for the new year. Maybe some of you are going to hold off until the start of the work/school week. The Monday after a holiday always seems like an easier time to launch a new plan… or is it? We are programmed to think that being back to work, school, or whatever our “regularly scheduled programs” are, will make it easier to adjust our routines, helping to make the sustainable changes we want.
In this article, we will dive into some of the psychology around human behavior, habit formation, and how this translates into your own life. How you can set the stage for your success. We’ll answer the question, what is the best time to change a habit. The answer might surprise you, it surprised me!
Framing My Beliefs on Habits for Success
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
There are two books I read some time ago, that have influenced my thinking on habits and success. The first is a book I read in graduate school, many of you are familiar with it, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I remember reading it and thinking “yes, that’s it!”. It resonated with me, maybe it was just the groundbreaking simplicity. Stephen Covey put on paper what in many ways seemed like an obvious way to approach life goals, which is probably why it spoke to me in such away. I have included a link to the book from Amazon if you are interested in checking it out, please note that if you make any purchase using this link, I will receive a small commission. I will touch on the second Principle in this article, “Begin with the End in Mind”, which I think is essential if we want to create change in our lives.
The Power of Habit
The second book is The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg, (Amazon affiliate link here as well) which I picked up randomly in the airport at one point in time. A lasting impression I have from this book is the highlight on toothpaste, yes plain ol’ toothpaste. Duhigg uses toothpaste to illustrate how something as every day as toothpaste (which kinda is the point), can influence our routines and habits.
The sensation toothpaste creates is key in the cycle that makes people crave tooth brushing if you want to go so far as to call it a “craving”. The tingling, refreshing feeling and a sense of doing something good for yourself is a simplistic, if not a marketing stroke of genius, way of thinking about the psychology behind good habit formation. Duhigg refers to this as the Habit Loop. NPR wrote an article, “Habits: How They Form and How to Break them” in 2012 when the book was released.
This article also holds the answer to the question above, the best time to change a habit. Truth be told that the best time to change a habit is when you are away from your everyday normal routine. Contrary to what we might think about this, being on vacation or out of town visiting a family member would also be a good time to implement new habits, definitely worth noting.
So bringing it back to toothpaste, there is the cue, a stale taste in your mouth, (coffee breath?). And then there is the routine, brushing teeth, that leaves us with the fresh and crisp sensation, which is the reward. And there’s nothing like a pandemic to shine a light on the routines and habits that we engage in or don’t for that matter.
Cue + routine (behavior) = reward
Why does it always sound so simple and obvious when someone else says it? One of the amazing things about psychology is that we all do these things, we all know them and are somewhat aware of them, I guess mostly… we aren’t talking about neuroscience here… and yet… the obvious escapes us… genius!
Function of Behavior
There is another principle that I want to throw in here which comes from my time in the world of public education, where we as counselors, are often asked to analyze a set of student behaviors (based on data) and determine the function of that behavior. It really can be simplified as one of two things, all behavior is either to obtain something or to escape it. I’ll let you chew on that for a minute and think about how that plays into your habits, hint the pleasure principle applies here. This is exactly what we are talking about above, reward. To motivate us to do something it has to be rewarding enough or uncomfortable enough to deter the behavior. And then of course human nature being what it is, we complicate this with the short term vs the long term and so on….
What this means for you!
So, the reason I talk about these principles is that I think it is crucial for us to be aware of the cycles of our behavior and the importance of keeping the big picture in mind as well as what motivates our behavior. If we have a handle on those three factors, we have the “habit change” formula. I also see these principles as the foundation for sustainable change on any level, individual, family, organization, and so on.
- We all engage in these habit loops, if you want to implement changes for yourself and develop new habits, it is good to first sit down and think about your habit loop. Why do you do the things you do? What are the rewards and what else could you do to achieve them?
- Duhigg explains that if you want to change a habit, the cue and the reward will stay the same, it is the routine that is the key. So what part of your routine will give you the reward that you are looking for? I know this is true for me as well, seldom do I think this through in such a logical manner, but if I did, I might find more success creating the changes I want for myself and as you will for yourself.
- Beginning with the end in mind is two things for me. One maintaining the big picture and two, planning. As the saying goes, if we fail to plan, we plan to fail. We do also very often lose sight of the larger issue at hand. For example, we might say we want to be more active, on a day to day level, that reward is feeling more fit, managing stress and maybe dropping a few extra pounds. But the ultimate goal is to have better health and quality of life which you will achieve by simply being more active.
- It also helps us to narrow down our focus, as Covey begins this chapter he begins with a rather morbid entry into this idea. He begins by asking the reader to imagine what their loved ones would say at their funeral. It does hammer home the essential question of what truly is important to you in your life. Is it just looking good, or is it about living more fully?
Tools to help you develop habits for success
- Journaling is an invaluable tool to help you break down and understand you’re why, as it relates to these above principles. I know, I talk about journaling in just about all of my articles, as I am a true believer in this method, if you would like to give it a try but not sure where to start, you can download my free guide by clicking this link. Taking the time to step back and think through your actions and desires will create greater understanding, another principle of Covey’s, seek to understand before being understood.
- Therapy is of course is another valuable tool. Not everyone has a therapist available to them, which is why I have partnered with an agency called Online Therapy that aims to bring therapy to people virtually from anywhere in the world. You can access this service with my affiliate link where you can get 20% off their service for the first month. If you have access to technology and don’t need to use insurance this may be a great option as a starting point towards creating the changes you want and need for a healthy well-balanced life. You can also contact your primary care who will most likely have a few names and are covered by your insurance.
- Another option that combines the two above is to chart it out. Start by listing out your current habits and the motivators (rewards), are you looking to avoid something or obtain something, maybe a little of both. Next, think about the prompt or cue for that habit. After you have gone through these steps it might not be so hard to think of substitutes for the habit that will get you the same reward.
Just a side note about habits and swapping out unhealthy for healthy. Any kind of change is a process and it’s always important to build in room for success where possible. The important part is the movement towards an overall healthier and fulfilling lifestyle, small, simple, and attainable steps are the key.
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