How to Make the Most of This Thanksgiving
I wrote a post last night about how to spend an alt thanksgiving in the age of COVID with your family, I did want to also acknowledge, however, that there are many of us who will spend this Thanksgiving alone. It is a well-established fact that symptoms of mental health distress accelerate during the holidays and this year will be no exception.
There may be more people spending this Thanksgiving under the umbrella of hardship and loneliness than ever before, whether that is due to COVID, unemployment and financial challenges, mental health struggles, or even political estrangement and conflict with those close to you. It may or may not be by choice but, whatever your circumstances, know that you are not alone.
Music and artistry have dedicated much of their content to this theme, in the maudlin, there is beauty some might say… and I would agree. Pain and isolation, connection to the rawness of our humanity, wax creativity. The volumes of creative content alone are evidence of the widely shared experience that many of us share at some point in our lives, there is solace in knowing that you are not alone.
How do we cope with this feeling of isolation and loneliness? Well, I think the answer to these questions is varied depending on who we are and what works for us, but I do think there are a few simple yet key steps we can take to combat isolation and loneliness during these otherwise festive days.
5 Ways to Make the Most of Your Thanksgiving Alone
- Make contact with one person. Sometimes it feels like a stretch to think of even one person that you can reach out to and connect with on some level. It doesn’t have to be someone you know super well or that you feel a deep connection to, it could be anyone, a random colleague, your local barista, or the neighbor you often see but have not yet spoken to. Maybe there is even room to reach out to the estranged family member or the old friend you haven’t spoken to in years. If estrangement is due to conflict, keep in mind that when we experience conflict with someone it is a strong indicator that there is a close connection that has been hurt or damaged, maybe there is room in there for healing, could this Thanksgiving be that moment to work towards resolution of past hurt?
- Volunteer. Doing something good for other people is one of the best ways to boost one’s mood. Volunteering will help you connect with other people while making a contribution to life around you. There’s lots of research out there about the protective health factors in social connection and collaboration which can help turn depression and anxiety upside down leaving you with an enhanced feeling of self as a result. Give it a try and see how it goes for you. You can find 50 ways to do good and volunteer here.
I included a Youtube clip here which I think has some very brutally honest suggestions as well, warning there might be an F-bomb or two!
- Another suggestion I have is to treat yourself. The power of self-care cannot be overstated. Treat yourself to something you really enjoy and have been wanting to do. Maybe you have been putting off a trip to the hair salon, been wanting to get back into your exercise routine, or just do something you enjoy. If you don’t have reason to leave your home, I would encourage you to try to go out for a brief walk. A Thanksgiving alone can be a chance to reconnect to your passions, such as time outdoors. The revitalizing energy of the outdoors, be it city or country, can be surprising at times, and offers an opportunity for perspective.
- Online gaming with distanced friends and family. In my last post “How to Survive a COVID Thanksgiving”, I talked a lot about how to engage with others through online games. If it is a matter of you not being able to connect physically, maybe you will be zooming with your family and friends, take a look at my last post to see if there is an online game or two that might change your online dynamic. A Thanksgiving alone can create new opportunities to experience togetherness, we just need to think outside the box.
- Speak with a therapist or find a support group. It doesn’t have to be long term but maybe just a few sessions to help you get through some of the difficult moments. One benefit of the COVID crisis is that therapy and counseling are readily available through Telehealth. I have been conducting sessions online since the beginning of the pandemic in March 2020 and had never used this medium before. I have found it to be a lot more effective than I would have imagined. You can talk to your primary care, health insurance, or even if you have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) at work for help finding someone who might be a good match for you. There is also the online platform that I highly recommend called Online-Therapy.com which embraces the CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) model and is available virtually from anywhere in the world. By clicking on the link above you will receive 20% off your first month.
Sometimes managing our time alone ultimately comes down to our mindset rather than a specific strategy. Time alone can be a gift, I know many don’t feel this way, however, if we take the time to embrace it and take care of the relationship we have with ourselves, just as we do with others, we might find that we can enjoy our time alone. COVID has brought on an extra layer of fear and anxiety, especially if you are alone due to the passing of someone from COVID, if this is the case, take extra good care of yourself and make sure that you have people you can speak to if you need to. You are not just dealing with social isolation but grief which is a long difficult process that people often need time and support from others to get through.
If you have other thoughts or ideas about how to spend this Thanksgiving alone or ways that you have coped with these challenges, please share in the chat below. As I said in the beginning, this is a shared experience and if we can create some community around the challenges we face, well then, there is at the very least that!
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