A Gift to Yourself….Finding Gratitude

A Time to Unwind and Be Present

Finding gratitude is one of the simple things in life, sometimes however we lose sight of that and need reminders.  This article provides strategies for reintroducing gratitude when you have lost that … gratitude feeling.

It’s December 24th and although it is day one of vacation, I woke up to a terrible stress dream this am… work-related of course… I take this as a sign of the stress I have been carrying these last several weeks.  It might have something to do with the stress of what is to come after vacation, but the biggest reminder to me… is the need to take this break, this holiday season, and just be. Be with family, in whatever capacity that is, via Skype, or Zoom or FaceTime or the plain old-fashioned phone.  Be with you and what is important to you.

This time of year brings on many reflections of the past year and this year more than any other, people are wishing 2020 away.  I find that disappointing, although it has been a very hard year in many different ways, there is still a lot for which we can be grateful.   It might not be staring at us in the face and it might take some hard thought but I think it is important to find that for which we are grateful in the sea of hurt, loss, and disdain that might be lying on the surface for us to more easily grasp onto.  There will be a time for renewal and optimism for the new year, but if you can, take a moment to savor these last days of 2020.

#GRATITUDE

Yes, this social media tag has gotten a lot of attention in recent years, I might even say it’s a little trendy and if you speak it, it implies a woke sense of being.  Don’t mean to be cynical here, just honest, I hate that the idea of being “spiritually woke” is a little pretentious these days, however as a therapist I can acknowledge that for some, to talk about it and make an effort to try it on, is the first step in creating change for oneself.  Pretentious or not, it can be a way forward, a path towards healing and hope for the future, and for this I should also be grateful, yes, I’ve been “checked”, finding gratitude can be as simple as just that… finding gratitude without pretense.

I can remember some very specific moments in my life when my awareness of the things in my life that I was grateful for began to be more apparent.  I think at the time I thought of it more as being lucky and feeling fortunate, for things like the job I had, which was pretty low paying and not at all glamorous, the Mazda I drove and the home I rented.  I notice that when we have space in our life for gratitude, we have less space for the greed, envy, loss, loneliness, and sadness that we sometimes experience.  And not that one necessarily cancels the other, but I think if we can work towards creating more space in our lives for this gratitude, we replace it with many other less gratifying feelings. After all when we feel it, truly feel that gratitude it can carry you… in ways I don’t think we would necessarily think of, I certainly would not have foreseen how powerful it could be.

The Greater good Magazine wrote an article on this topic some time ago, but that which could not be more relevant today.  I have included the link here, How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times.

 Finding gratitude in your life

1. Journaling is one of the best ways to stop reflect and be intentional in your thoughts. Many people I talk to about journaling want to try it but aren’t sure where to start.  I created a journal guide for just that reason, you can access it by clicking on this link.  Oprah Winfrey is probably one of the most well-known people to promote the idea of writing in and keeping a gratitude journal.  I have included a link to an article she wrote on this experience, what Oprah Knows for Sure About Gratitude.
2. Be present in the now.  When we are caught up in negative feelings, we are not living in the present.  We may have regrets about our past or worries for the future, feelings of inadequacy at work, but where does that get us… of course, it is important to understand the feelings, but dwelling on it doesn’t usually get us to a place of understanding.  Journaling about it however might (review #1 again).  If you are struggling to be in the moment, connect to your 5 senses.  As we speak of very often around anxiety and panic, connect to your senses, what are things that you see, hear, feel, taste or smell?  Our senses can ground us and bring us to what we are experiencing in the here and now.
3. Connect with your family and friends, the people who support you, love you, and are there for you.  This again is sometimes laden with history and complication, but if we are living in the present (review #2), we will be able to see the relationship where it is now.  It may not always have been the best, most supportive relationship, but very possibly, just as you try to create change for yourself, they are too?
4. Do something you enjoy.  There are many “have to’s” in life, what is one of your “want to’s”?  Identify one and do it.  This is a way, in the absence of any of the others noted above, we are able to find something that we can appreciate and be happy in the experience of doing.

I will keep this one short and sweet. I am going to work on practicing what I preach.  Today and the next few, are days to just be, to feel the warmth of the fortune we have been given.  Enjoy these last days of 2020 and be present in the moment.  Of course on your way off to living in the present and finding your gratitude, I would personally feel immense gratitude if you hit the like button below and share this article with friends and family…. Happy Holidays! 😀